Editor’s note: When a relationship cannot end well, what should we do next? Wu Mengling, a well-informed family lawyer, has seen many family cases like 8-point records in her career: domestic violence, affair, and cheating. If the breakup process is...
Editor’s note: When a relationship cannot end well, what should we do next? Wu Mengling, a well-informed family lawyer, has seen many family cases like 8-point records in her career: domestic violence, affair, and cheating. If the breakup process is not handled properly, it is likely to increase the damage. If you want to leave the evil, what legal, financial and psychological preparations should you make? Recently, as long as we talk about and discuss secret relations, a common saying has been spread among the parties: "It is recommended to divorce for marriage, and it is recommended to break up for emotional problems." However, in real life, it is often difficult for men and women who are deeply trapped in the quagmire of relationships to say goodbye.
"Whether there is a relationship of love or not, as long as you give your feelings, a lot of problems will arise when it is over," said Wu Mengling, a well-informed family lawyer. She has been in business for nearly 30 years and has seen all kinds of "crimes": domestic violence, affair, verbal bullying, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fighting. It's like a 8-point drama, which is constantly being staged in the real world. The parties may be injured in the relationship regardless of their educational level or social status. When love has become a thing of the past, why is it so difficult to leave?
It’s easy to break up if you love! The real dilemma that divorced women may faceWu Mengling pointed out that divorce is easy to get rid of, because they spend a long time together, and the two parties have too many common accumulations and need to clear their parents. For example, who will take care of the children after they are separated? How to distribute property? And how can one party spend his youth and energy to achieve the other party, and how can one party get supplementary?
This unwilling emotion makes many women feel full of trouble. "Mr. I often say that he earns the money, so I don't satisfy you. But is that really that true?"
Wu Mengling mentioned that her customers are mainly women, and many of them have spouses working in high-income jobs such as doctors and professors. Looking back at the love history of two people, love usually begins with the age of students. After graduation, in order to allow her partner to develop better, the woman was willing to give up her original career plan and chose to accompany her to study abroad and study in other cities. After having children, the wife left the job and took care of the family.
While my wife's career was abrupt, my husband's career became increasingly stable, and he became more and more confused. When external forces intervene and marriage breaks down, the wife wants to return to her job, she may have to go back to the base and come back. The responsibility of caring for a family will also affect a woman's career and lead to a setback to the independence journey after divorce.
Wu Mengling said with emotion that, according to Taiwan's laws, the results of the divorce judgment may not meet the expectations of the parties. For example, when calculating the remaining property difference, if the husband is willing to take over, the wife will not only not get the money, but may also have to pay out of her own pocket. Even if the mistress sued the court, the amount of the victim's compensation is no more than 10 to 100,000 yuan. "If you expect to suffer in your marriage, you can get back justice by complaining. I think it is unlikely."
Another "unresolved" situation is that one party wants to divorce, but the other party doesn't want to. For example, the wife believes that she has been in a marriage for a long time and is unwilling to continue spending the second half of her life with someone she doesn't love. However, the husband did not intend to divorce and did not have any major mistakes in legal definitions such as domestic violence, rape, and malicious abandonment. At this time, the parties who are eager to divorce need to "make a profit", such as promising to leave the house to the other party, so that the two can reach an agreement.
Wu Mengling also said bluntly that the court was in a battleground. In a divorce lawsuit, both of them will attack each other with incomprehensible words and give unbearable evidence to prove that the other party has made mistakes. Even if the lawsuit is won, the person involved is often covered with scars. "Many people still remember the scene of the lawsuit when they were dreaming at midnight, thinking about how the other party could talk to me like this?"
She dedicates women to not blame herself for the responsibility of the breakup of the marriage. "We are not perfect people, and we may make more or less mistakes. But if you insert the convicted sword into your body, you will never get out."
How can you protect your rights when marriage cannot be done?When the relationship is unscrupulous and the couple cannot get together and part, what preparations should be made? Wu Mengling pointed out that as far as legally concerned, there are several property rights that can be obtained when divorced.
The first type is "distribution of residual property difference". If the husband and wife do not handle the separate property system, the statutory property system will be applied. When divorced, the accumulated property of the two parties shall be deducted from inheritance, redeem and other non-hard earnings, and the more property party must pay half of the property difference between the other party. Even if one of the parties has transferred the property to another person's name in advance, the spouse may require additional calculations within 2 years of knowing the facts or within 5 years after divorce.
The second type of "paying fee" is that when one of the parties is in trouble due to divorce, they can request payment from the other party with better economic ability. For example, because my wife was abused by domestically and endured by her husband's verbal violence, she was unable to work and had no property in her name, so she had the opportunity to successfully ask for a nursing fee.
In addition, if the spouse has committed mistakes in marriage, such as domestic violence, affair, etc., the other party can request "mental compensation". If you have evidence of extramarital affairs, you can also sue a third party for infringing on spousal rights and demand "victimization".
However, Wu Mengling admitted that "the cost of not having a marriage is actually very low." Taking spiritual compensation as an example, the current market decision in the business is about several hundred thousand yuan. "If the client has paid for ten years of youth in his marriage, this money is really small."
She suggested that before he talked about divorce, he should know how to protect his property.. For example, pay attention to the cash and house under the other half’s name, and whether the whereabouts of the money and house are unknown? Both parties have had financial transactions, such as the wife borrowed money to let the husband start a business, etc., and they also had to keep detailed certificates so that they would have the chance to get them back in the future.
Mature women should be careful about love chaotic! Establish a financial line to avoid two financial lossesIn addition to divorce, Wu Mengling also noticed that the love cases encountered by mature women in recent years have increased. There are many "repeaters" in the business office. "I will help them deal with the divorce first, and a few years later she came back to me because of love."
She pointed out that there are two most typical love stories. One way is that women make friends online and get to know "retired professors", "military officers" and "entrepreneurs" who are abroad. After the two talked, they started to embrace the future wishes and allowed mature women to be willing to transfer their money abroad. Even though the relatives around him complained earnestly, the client still believed that the "boyfriend" would not be a cheater, and even showed the other party's wonderful life photos on the community website. "Little do you know that those are caught from the Internet!"
Another way of quiz is often seen in familiar dating groups. The woman thought she finally found a good man after divorce, but she didn't know that the other party was interested in her own capital. The saying "Buy a house where my old man lives with you" and "I know there is an investment opportunity that makes you very profitable", may make you lose all your money. I wanted to sue, but I found out that the other party's information was all created, and love was a carefully designed trick.
"What is difficult for sisters to be afraid of is that they are not only being cheated, but also being cheated by people who think they are boyfriends. Many people can't tell them, and then they get depressed." Wu Mengling pointed out that women may feel lonely and want to find someone who loves them after divorce. But when people are vulnerable, it is difficult to make rational judgments. Only by getting hurt is done well before the next love is revealed.
After a mature woman divorces, if you want to start a new relationship or even enter a second marriage, Wu Mengling suggested that you must set up a financial defense line: it is not easy to let the dating partner know their wealth, and do not borrow money to the other party at will. Many large amounts of love cheats start with a small amount of money borrowed from a businessman. In addition, when making an appointment with a pre-marriage agreement, both parties can explain in advance how to distribute their property and family expenses after marriage, which is also an important way to protect themselves.
Don't hand over the responsibility of loving yourself to others! If you feel the self, you will be better if you have close relationships"I believe that if the flowers bloom, the butterflies will come naturally. But the injured flowers will only attract jealous babies; the flowers bloom because they are very healthy." Facing a familiar person who is divorced and has sex with her, Wu Mengling believes that the urgent task is actually to find the ability to love herself. "People with bad self-feeling are hard to expect the relationship to be better."
She pointed out that the long-term isolation from the outside world will make the world of women smaller and even feel inferior. She has seen many wives who originally supported her partner's business wholeheartedly. But when the husband proposed to divorce, he said, "You don't understand anything I said. Don't you think we are far away now?"
She encouraged women and thought more about herself while giving her family. For example, the second-teacher of development will not only earn income, but will also broaden one's horizons. There are many possibilities for opening up your life, "A confident woman is very attractive!"
Original text: Accompanying a mature woman through divorce lawsuits and love cheats! Family lawyer Wu Mengling: How to deal with your own injuries after your love disappears?
